Terrified
by mamaXunicorn
Summary: Jess and Becker have been pining for each other in silence for way too long.


**_A/n: Hello everyone! This is my first Primeval story and I've only been a fan of the show for about three weeks now so I apologize if the characters are at all out of character! I just fell in love with many couples on the show including Becker and Jess! So without further adue: _**

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><p><em>She really is beautiful. <em>

_Not in the drop dead gorgeous, super model kind of way. But in her own very special way._

_And that probably sounds incredibly cheesy. In fact it does sound incredibly cheesy. But it is the truth. _

_Especially when she's working. People don't seem to realize how incredibly smart she is. Or if they do they certainly don't say anything to her. She is brilliant, incredibly so. _

_The things she can do is unlike anything anyone else at the ARC can. Well, there's Connor...but Jess can fix anything, even if she says she can't. _

_She's absolutely brilliant. _

_Not to mention adorable. _

_Adorable? Yes. Adorable. Jess Parker is adorable. _

_Beautiful, brilliant, adorable Jess. _

These were the thoughts that ran through Captain Becker's head as he stood in the back of the control room, his arms crossed over his chest, his eyes focused intently on the young woman sitting at the computer and a hint of a smile on his lips.

It was a slow day at the Anomaly Research Centre. The anomalies were few and far between recently and since he was security and not a scientist he didn't really have much of a job.

He did his rounds, making sure his men were guarding their assigned areas and checking that there were no intruders or that none of the creatures were at risk for escaping. Seeing everything was in working order he made his way back to the main control room and stopped at seeing Jess working furiously at her station.

So far she hadn't noticed him, or at least he hoped she hadn't. He didn't want to explain to anyone, least of all her, why he was just standing there watching her.

He noticed, much to his intense amusement, that when she had no one to talk to on the coms she would talk to herself. It was quiet murmurings that he couldn't quite make out from where he stood but the sound of her sweet voice was unmistakable.

And when she'd find something that frustrated her, she'd let out a little grunt and though he couldn't see her face he imagined that her lips would pout out until she fixed the problem. Then when she would fix it, as she always did, the adorable smile would cross her lips and she'd do a little victory wiggle in her seat.

Occasionally someone, usually Matt who was as bored as Becker, would patch into the coms and ask her if any new anomalies had popped up. Then he'd hear her adorable little giggle and her melodic voice right in his ear and it took everything in him not to smile.

He also noticed that, while she thought no one was looking, she'd go into a drawer underneath the desk and pull out some chocolate and nibble on it while she worked. Becker swore he never saw anyone so addicted to chocolate before. But he supposed that was just another one of Jess' adorable qualities that made her so...Jess.

He was so focused on Jess and every little thing she did that he failed to notice some approaching him until he suddenly had a face full of Connor Temple. "Enjoying the view?" Connor teased.

The smile that had been on Becker's face instantly vanished and his eyes darkened and he straightened his posture. "What do you want Connor?"

"Who me?" Connor shrugged, that cheeky smile still plastered on his face that made Becker want to shoot the bloody guy just so he'd get out of his face. "I don't want anything. I just couldn't help but notice that you seemed very interested in that remote area." He threw a thumb over his shoulder motioning to Jess and the computers.

Becker's eyes narrowed slightly, glaring at the young scientist. "Don't you have work to do?"

Connor's smile simply grew and he moved aside to stand next to Becker, now focusing his attention on Jess. He leaned his head sideways towards Becker, "If you want to talk to her you can just go talk to her."

Becker huffed and pressed his arms tighter against his chest, ignoring Connor.

"It's not a crime you know." Connor continued. "Fancyin' somebody."

Becker rolled his eyes and scoffed. "I do _not_ fancy Jess."

Connor snorted. "Right, whatever you say mate."

Becker shook his head, his eyes still narrowed as he stared at the spot in front of him, which still had Jess in his line of sight, and he could not ignore the sudden thickness in his throat.

"You can't hide your feelings forever." Connor said. "Sooner or later, you're gonna have to tell her."

"Connor," Becker said through clenched teeth, "I do suggest you stop talking."

Much to Becker's immense irritation, Connor ignored his request and continued speaking, "You should really talk to her, Becker. You don't have to ask her out or anything yet if you don't want to but watching her from a distance isn't gonna get you anywhere. Believe me, I know." He glanced up at Becker's stern, stony face and after a moment of silence from him he sighed.

"Well if you won't do it, I will."

Becker's eyes snapped to Connor and his eyes widened as Connor called to Jess. Becker swiftly elbowed Connor in the ribs and he doubled over, grunting in pain and wrapping his arms around his middle.

Jess spun around in her seat and her eyes widened at seeing Becker there. She bit her lip softly and though he couldn't see it, a light blush coated her cheeks. She lifted her hand and waggled her fingers in a shy wave and he nodded back to her. Connor groaned again and she cocked her head to the side, eyeing the other man in confusion. "Is he alright?" She called over to Becker.

"I think he might be coming down with something." He grabbed Connor's arm, a bit roughly and he whimpered quietly. "I better take him to the med bay."

Jess nodded, her brow furrowing and she looked unsure but still she smiled. "Alright."

Becker tightened his grip on Connor's arm and started to drag the whimpering man out into the corridor. Jess shook her head and returned to her work muttering something under her breath.

Once they were out of her sight, Becker gave him a little shove and Connor stumbled into the wall, still trying to catch his breath from Becker's little attack.

"Never do that again." Becker warned him dangerously.

Connor winced as he straightened himself out. "I was just trying to help." He panted.

"I don't want help. I don't need help. There is nothing to be helped." Becker seethed.

"Fine." Connor threw his hands up in surrender. "Whatever. I'll leave you to your not staring at Jess then." He placed one hand on his side as he walked slowly away from Becker, heading back towards his lab.

Becker glared at his retreating back until he disappeared from sight and then he sighed and pressed himself up against the wall, running a hand through his hair. He glanced longingly towards the control room and suddenly hated Connor that much more for now he had to find something else to do since Jess had known he was there and would surely see him come in again.

"Bloody idiot." He muttered harshly under his breath and started in the opposite direction, his heart hammering away in his chest.

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><p><em>Oh my GOD, how long was he standing there?<em>

_He saw me talking to myself..._

_Oh lord, he probably thinks I'm weird and quirky. Who am I kidding, I am weird and quirky. And he's so...Becker! _

_He's so lovely and I'm so...Jess. Plain old Jess. It's no wonder he doesn't show any interest in me...I mean why would he? _

_There's nothing remotely interesting about me. Sure, I can do alot with computers but that's not impressive to a man like Becker. Though he has called me brilliant..._

_...oh but that means nothing! He was just being polite is all! And the same with the chocolate...he was being nice. That's all. Nice, sweet, Becker. Bringing candy to plain old, boring, uninteresting Jess. _

_And what on Earth was that greeting? You waved like a shy little school girl. Stupid, stupid, stupid. _

These were the thoughts that ran through Jess' mind once Becker dragged Connor out of the room. She could hardly focus on her work in front of her with the thoughts that plagued her mind and her fingers typed furiously at the keyboard with every insult her thoughts paid her.

Sometimes Jess really hated love. She was always a bit of a romantic at heart, she loved watching romance films and she loved seeing her friends blooming in their own romances. But from the moment she had met Becker she felt an instant attraction and it only grew with time. Nearly three years after their first meeting and Jess thinks that its grown from mere attraction to head-over-heels love. She wasn't as innocent as people seemed to think she was, she had boyfriends before, and she might have even loved them. But none of them ever made her feel like Becker did.

Every time he'd smile, especially at her, her knees would get weak. Every time he spoke her heart would flutter. Every time he ran off with the others to fight off the latest creature she prayed and hoped with all her might that he'd come back in one piece. And when he'd come back through those doors she wanted to run to him and hug him and hold her to him, letting him know how brave she thought he was, and how wonderful he is and let him know that she's glad he's alive.

But she couldn't do that. She could never do that because she and Becker are merely co-workers, friends at best. All she could ever do was congratulate him on a job well done with the other members of the team. And that thought plagued many of her lonely and often tear-filled nights.

Her eyes twinged with the familiar sting of oncoming tears and she pressed the palms of her hands to her eyes to suppress them. She drew in a deep breath and pushed away from her computer. She needed a break.

She clenched her jaw tightly to hold back the tears that still pushed at the back of her eyes and made her way quickly towards the restrooms. Once she made it there, she locked the door behind her and went over to the sink to splash some cold water on her face.

She grasped the cold, hard surface of the sink and closed her eyes tightly, her salty warm tears mixing with the cold water dripping from her hair. She wiped at them furiously and frowned heavily, frustrated with herself for being so weak.

She glared at her reflection in the mirror, hating herself and her red rimmed eyes, her plain brown hair and her average face. She wished she could be like Abby, confident in herself and with a man who hung on her every word, or like Emily, beautiful and radiant and from another time.

She growled in frustration and forced the faucet open and splashed more water on her face to wash away the tears. She continued to splash water on her face until she felt the tears disappear and her face was nearly numb from the cold. When she glanced back up at herself her face was nearly all red and she looked like a disaster.

She shook her head at her reflection and stormed over to the paper towel dispenser and grabbed a few and wiped at her face until it was dry. She tossed away the used paper towels, sighed and returned to the mirror to check her appearance. Her face was less red but her eyes still looked bloodshot and some of her hair was wet and messy. She combed her fingers through the brown strands until they were acceptable, nodded to herself and exited the restroom.

She bowed her head, keeping her gaze focused on the floor so she made no eye contact with the occasional passerby.

Unfortunately she failed to notice the man standing at the end of the hallway until the last second when she spotted his black boots. Her breath caught in her chest as she collided with him causing her to lose her footing and immediately his strong arms surrounded her. Her eyes slammed closed and she bit down on her lip, building up the courage to look him in the eyes. She swallowed over the lump in her throat and slowly opened her eyes, tilting her head up to meet his eyes.

She was instantly taken aback by the amount of concern in his eyes. She wasn't sure she'd ever seen such an expression from him before. She gave him a wobbly smile and squeaked, "Hi."

His brow furrowed, his head twitching to the side as his eyes searched hers. "Are you alright?"

Her heart fluttered at the soft, gentle tone of his voice. She nearly melted on the spot but she quickly composed herself as best she could and nodded quickly. "Yes, yes," She cleared her throat, "I'm-I'm fine. It's just...allergies."

"Jess..." A breath of air escaped her lips and she shuddered quietly as he spoke her name. "You don't have allergies."

"I-I-I don't have allergies..." She whispered breathlessly and his brow shot up. Her eyes fluttered closed and she forced a smile to her face. She shook her head and laughed quietly, her eyes opening to look at him shyly. "Right, of course, silly me."

It was then that she noticed how close they actually were. Becker's arms were tightly wrapped around her small waist, pressing her against his midsection, and her hands rested on his chest. Her thumbs absentmindedly rubbed against his shirt and she felt a heat rise in cheeks feeling his taught muscles underneath her fingertips.

"You want to tell me what's really going on?" He coaxed her gently.

She felt fresh tears spring to her eyes at the thought and no matter how badly she wanted to she could not tear her gaze away from his. She shook her head slowly and her bottom lip trembled.

"Jess." He tilted his head forward and she stifled a gasp at the sudden closeness. She found herself drowning in the pools of brown that took up her entire field of vision. Her lips parted and an involuntary squeak escaped her throat accompanied by a few stray tears.

Only when the tears started to cloud her vision did she realize that she was crying in front of him. A light blush rose to her cheeks and she quickly ducked her head to hide her face from him.

Her hands shook against his chest for a few moments, her breathing was ragged and heavy.

Becker continued to hold her against him silently, his concern for her growing with each passing second especially when it was clear her crying would not cease.

He wondered what could have happened in the few minutes he had left. When he left she seemed quite content and now she was in his arms, crying her little eyes out.

Along with concern, Becker also felt anger starting to build inside him. He wanted to find whoever had made Jess so upset and teach them a lesson. No one, absolutely no one, made his Jess cry and got away with it.

But he'd have to deal with whoever it was later because right now his main concern was comforting Jess.

Jess, who he now realized, was still sniffling but also trying to break free from his arms. He reluctantly loosened his hold on her and she stumbled back, glancing up at him quickly and his heart broke at the sight of her tear stained cheeks.

With a shuddering breath, Jess turned around and headed in the opposite direction away from him without so much as a word.

Becker stood there, clueless, watching Jess retreat down the corridor, her quiet sobs muffled by her hand covering her mouth.

It took him a moment to realize that he couldn't just let her walk away. It was his job to protect the team and not only from the anomaly creatures. He frowned and ran over to catch up with her, calling her name.

Jess froze and her shoulders visibly tensed and she remained like stone until Becker caught up with her. His hand came to rest gently on her shoulder as he turned around to face her and she let out a whimper.

"Becker...?" Her voice shook quietly as she addressed him. "Have you ever...fancied somebody?"

He was a little taken aback by her sudden question and thought back to just minutes before when Connor accused him of fancying Jess. He swallowed thickly and answered as confidently as he could, "Yes, of course. Who hasn't?"

A weak, bitter smile crossed her lips and she still refused to look him in the eye as she continued. "Have you ever fancied somebody so much it hurt?" She shook her head and let out a breath. "Where it hurts so much to just even look at them knowing that they will never be yours and could never return your feelings. But at the same time you just can't not look at them because they're the most precious thing in the world." Her voice by this time had risen an octave and cracked occasionally with the tears that fell from her eyes. "And while its so incredibly sad and heart breaking it also makes you the happiest you've ever been because the feeling you get around them is unlike anything else you've ever felt before. And its-its so wonderful. But at the same time so...so very terrible. You feel complete and empty all at the same time." She buried her face in her hands and her shoulders shook with quiet sobs.

Becker frowned and instantly drew her to him. This time she did nothing to protest and just leaned against him and his arms surrounded her.

He buried his nose into her hair for a brief moment and then turned his head sideways so his cheek rested against the top of her head. He started to rub her back comfortingly but it made an adverse effect and whimpers started to escape her lips.

It was then that he definitely decided he hated the sound, sight and thought of Jess crying. He was certain he'd never seen Jess so vulnerable and hurting before, not even when she'd been bitten by the beetles.

He also hated the thought that somewhere out there some (lucky) bloke was the object of Jess' affection and he was unaware that he made the beautiful young woman heart broken and feeling alone. And a part of him (a larger part than he'd like to admit) hated that _he_ was not that man. He didn't want to be the one causing Jess so much pain of course but he did want to be the object of her affection in hopes that one day he'd be able to show her that she was the object of his.

A small twinge of relief hit him when he felt Jess stop shaking in his arms and heard her sobs subside. He wasn't quite sure how much more of that heart wrenching sound he could take. Then he noticed that she had removed her hands away from her face and lowered them to her sides and that her face was now buried in his chest and he wondered if she was any at all aware that his heart was racing.

He heard and felt Jess heave a sigh and almost all of the tension left her body but still she remained huddled against him.

She still needed comfort and somewhere in the back of his brain he registered that unfortunately it forgot to relay that little fact to his mouth.

"So," He drawled, moving his head to his chin was now rested atop her head. "All of this weepiness is because of a bloke?"

Jess scoffed and lifted her head to glare pathetically at him, her lips puffed out in an adorable pout. "Shut up." She snapped and then swallowed and nodded. "Yeah. It is."

He repressed a sigh and forced a tight smile to his lips. "He must be pretty special then."

Jess' lips twitched in a watery smile and she cocked her head to the side. "He is..." She whispered, staring into his eyes. "He really is."

He pressed his lips together and pulled a face. "I'm really rubbish at this girl talk. I don't do girl talk. And I'm probably saying the wrong thing here but, I don't know, maybe you should tell him."

She scoffed and shook her head, glancing at the floor. "And make a fool of myself? I don't think so."

"Jess," He grabbed her shoulders lightly and gazed down at her seriously. "Any man would be lucky to have you and if he rejects you, he's the one being a fool."

"Stop it." She whispered pathetically. "S'not true."

"Hey," His voice deepened and a shiver ran down her spine. He tightened his grip on her arms, careful not to hurt her, forcing her to look up at him. "Jess, you are brilliant."

A small smile tugged at her lips and she shrugged lightly. "So I've heard."

He smiled back at her and her heart melted on the spot. Which, given the circumstances of the current moment, only made her feel worse. She sighed heavily and shook her head, "I couldn't possibly tell him..."

He pursed his lips. "Jess..."

"No!" She suddenly pulled away from him and his eyes widened in shock. Jess' petite hands curled into balls of frustration at her sides and her eyes welled up. "You don't understand Becker! He's perfect! I know the perfect man doesn't really exist but to me he is! He's brilliant and brave and the most wonderful man I've ever known and he's..." She covered her mouth with her hand and closed her eyes tightly and she turned her body to face the wall. She took a few deep, shuddering breaths before letting her hand fall back to her side and bowing her head all the while Becker just stood there silently, staring at her.

She inhaled sharply and she visibly cringed and then she finally spoke, her voice soft and broken, "...and...he's you, Becker."

For a long moment Becker wasn't even sure he heard her right. And then he was too stunned into silence to even say anything at all. _He_ was the one Jess was pining after?

Jess bit her lip softly and bravely turned to face him only to see him staring at her, nothing but a blank look of shock on his features. She nodded quietly to herself, biting back tears and laughed bitterly. "See? I made a fool of myself."

She turned her back to him and wiped at her eyes, catching the tears before they fell and started her slow descent down the corridor trying to ignore the burning feeling of Becker's eyes boring into her back.

When she was about halfway down the hallway, Becker's brain and heart finally seemed to catch up with him and he leapt into action. He ran down the corridor, his heartbeat pounding in his ears, and swiftly grabbed her arm to pull her back to him.

Her wide, tearful eyes snapped up to his and her mouth opened to question him but before any words could be spoken he silenced her by bringing his lips down onto hers. His arms surrounded her small frame, pulling her tightly against him as he kissed her for all he was worth.

Jess was too frozen with shock to even respond properly to the kiss but the moment she did register what was happening she melted into his arms and let herself enjoy Becker's lips moving against her own.

Becker eventually pulled away, his eyes opening to gauge her reaction. Jess wobbled on her feet for a moment suddenly extremely grateful that Becker's strong arms supported her and her eyes fluttered open to meet his.

She swallowed hard, searching his eyes, her lips twitching in a hopeful smile, "...Becker?"

He flashed her a heart warming smile and lifted his hand to caress the side of her face with his knuckles. "You're brilliant." His hand moved to tuck a stray strand of brown hair behind her ears. "And beautiful." He cupped the side of her face and brought her in closer, resting his forehead against hers. Her lips parted slightly to allow a breathless gasp to escape at the intimate touch. "And my Jess."

A slow grin spread across her lips, she let out a tiny, happy squeak and jumped up to wrap her arms around his neck, bringing their lips together in another kiss. He smiled against her mouth and lifted her off the ground and from then on they both knew that things would never be the same again.

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><p><em>You set it again my heart's in motion<em>

_every word feels like a shooting star_

_I'm at the edge of my emotions_

_watching the shadows _

_burning in the dark._

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><p><em><strong>Well I hope that wasn't too bad! I'd love to hear any reviews! The lyrics and the title are from the song 'Terrified' by Katherine Mcphee. <strong>_


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